I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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