that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
