I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
