i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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