how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
