I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
