Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
