Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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