I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
