I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Randomize
