we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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