Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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