i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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