The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
