i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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