Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
