I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
