yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
