Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
