Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
