Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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