Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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