): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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