O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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