I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
