He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
