I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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