My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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