tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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