I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
vagina is talking i cant
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
