We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
