Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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