he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
