What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I want to fling myself into the sun
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
