I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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