If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
