Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
