Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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