I will die if light touches me.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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