she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
