so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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