Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
