i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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