She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
