I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
