was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
