Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
