haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
