Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
