It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
