I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
did you just send me my own nude
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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