Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
